Notes to myself-1

I've realised I STILL think too much and never say enough.And I have alot to babble about.Trust me.

        I'm not sure it really matters.I'm not sure how many people still actually follow this blog,with my blocking comments and having nothing to put up every now and then.But that's okay,I've been told my blog is still looked at,blame the lack of comments on me and my comment blocking actions.

       I've been asked whether I work for my blog or work for me.It's really a little bit of both.I love what I do.And hope to love what I do everyday of my life.I also like looking at my work on a bright screen that does different things,it makes me happier.I can share what I have with alot of people.That's exciting.

      I recently put up some photographs for this contest(www.flopmagazine.com..vote for me if you like) and I got some nice responses.I never look at myself as a photographer.But I like getting into different things,its pretty exhilarating.I work towards what I enjoy doing and let go of what I can't possibly move through.

    I am very insecure and lack confidence when it comes to my life with design.I think I worry about whether I'm doing the right thing atleast once a week.But it's times like these I realise that everyone has so much to give.And take.And design is my way if giving,be it holistic,social or lucrative.

       I want to illustrate books,artfully direct magazines,advertise,design home products,postcards...even teach someday.I have alot I'd like to do.And I always say that dreams exist to lose themselves.But I also believe that you can always have what you want if you work hard.And I love to work.So what's stopping me?

          I don't know.

I'm impatient.I recently submitted some illustration work to another competion.And I'm not going to do well at all because I worked in an absolute hurry.I didn't work for me,I worked inorder to finish my work on time.

      I guess that's really the problem.That and insecurity.I want to get over it.I will.I refuse to be someone I'm not.If I'm down enough to be another person I better do it well,otherwise there's no point.And I'm not going to be someone else.

      It's a long journey,this one.